Times Past
by irshQQ79
Summary: Over a decade ago she loved him. Over a decade ago he broke her heart. Can they find a way back to each other or is the pain cut too deep...EXB
1. Chapter 1

**Ok folks here it is my first story. I want to first thank wytchwmn75 for kicking my ass and telling me to just shut up and write. Okay she was nicer than that but the point was made. I also her major props for pre-reading and pointing out my love (or addiction) of ! exclamation points. I also want to thank PTB for betaing this chapter. **

**Oh and before I forget, SM owns all things Twilight, and quite honestly her story owns me... I just like to play... And now on with the show**

**BPOV**

_Why does it always take twice as long to make a triple shot vanilla latte when you are in a rush?_ I thought this as I looked at my Blackberry for the third time; court started in twenty minutes and I couldn't be late. Standing there anxiously, I began tapping the toe of my Stuart Weitzman shoe in frustration.

"Order up for Alice," the barista called out from behind the counter. I sighed and went back to my tapping. When I looked up, I was looking straight into the bright blue eyes that sent me back to a time long ago and a life I have been desperately trying to forget.

"Bella… Bella Swan is that you?" Alice asked in a voice that still reminded me of Tinkerbelle and made her groan internally.

"Wow, Alice you look great! What are you doing here?" I said feigning excitement. Alice threw her arms around me in a fierce hug.

"Oh, I own a boutique around the corner and I needed my caffeine fix for the afternoon," Alice beamed at me.

"That's so great to hear, I should come in sometime and check it out," I said with a smile and looked at my Blackberry again.

"Order up for Bella," the barista finally called, causing me to let out an intentional sigh of relief. Reaching for my cup, I turned to Alice with the sincerest smile I could produce. "Well it was great seeing, if I have time I'll come in and check out your store."

I turned to leave as quickly as I could, but I wasn't fast enough. The pixie was walking quickly next to me keeping pace. "Well Bella, I'm so glad that I ran into you, a group of us are getting together tonight and it would be incredible if you could come and join us, I know Rose would love to see you."

"I don't know Alice, I have a lot on my plate right now, I have to be in court the rest of the day and then there are briefs that I need to write tonight…" I was quickly interrupted.

"But this is a onetime deal; we haven't had the group together in ages, at least not all of us."

I allowed the guilt of my quick departure, from Forks; wash over as I looked at my one time best friend. "Alright Alice you win… as usual," I said with a smirk on my lips. "What time should I be there?"

Alice started bouncing up and down like she just won the jackpot. "Oh Bella this is going to be so great, just you wait and see," Alice said in a squeaking voice that I didn't even think was possible. "We are all meeting at nine tonight at Fadó on 1st Avenue, do you know where it is?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Oh that's great! Then we will see you at nine tonight, have a great rest of the day Bella," Alice gave me a quick tight hug before turning at the corner.

The day seemed to go by faster than I had hoped, returning to the office around 4pm I found Angela, my assistant and very dear friend, waiting for me. "Hi, Ang, any messages?"

"Jake called again, he wants to take you to dinner tonight, and I told him you had plans. You know you need to either be open and tell him that you aren't interested or let your guard down and actually try with him. He's a good guy."

"I know Ang, but I just don't feel that spark, I want the spark, I deserve the spark," I said in frustration. "Besides, I do have plans tonight… I'm going out with a group of friends." Angela's eyes widened in surprised.

"What friends Bella? I've known since you graduated from college, I've rarely ever heard of you talk about friends."

"Ouch Ang, you make it sound like I'm a leper of some kind." I said with a smile on my face. "They're just a group of people I went to high school with, nothing to get too worked up over."

"Wait high school, like Edwa…" raising my hand quickly

"Oh no, don't even say his name. He will not be there tonight, it's part of my past and I want to move on from it, seeing him or hearing his name would just bring it all back up again."

"Okay fine, I won't utter his name, but promise me that you'll go out tonight, let your hair down and just be yourself. No more pretending to be this uptight bitch that you really aren't. Show those 'friends' who you've become and that you aren't that girl anymore."

"Ang, I swear sometimes I don't know if I should hug you or fire you…. but then I remember I'd be lost without you." I said smiling.

"Yeah I know… I totally ROCK!" Angela smiled and then turned and left the office to leave me to my own devices. I looked at my monitor, it was just after 4:30 I debated leaving work early, but I quickly pushed that though aside and decided to just dive head first into the briefs for James Delcore's upcoming divorce from his wife, Victoria.

The next time I looked at my monitor it was almost 7:00 I knew it would be about a ten minute walk from my condo to the bar, so I decided to call it a day. I shut down my computer and packed a few things away that I can work on over the weekend.

As I shut off the light I found myself taking a deep breath and began telling myself that I could do this. I could face my past and hopefully, finally be able to move forward once and for all.

I walked into my apartment and went straight over to my iHome, if I was going to go out I was going to be the Bella they don't know anymore I was going to need the right song to get in the mood. I quickly scrolled to an oldie but a classic… Soon the velvety voice of Amy Lee was filling the room.

With a jump in my step and smirk on my lips I walked to my closet with a purpose. If there was any chance that he was going to be there then I was going to show him and everyone there that I was a new woman, I am confident and beautiful I am not the same little girl they once knew.

I pulled out my favorite pair of distressed skinny jeans and my black asymmetrical top. I laid them out on the bed and went to the dresser and pulled out my power panties and matching black strapless bra. As I walked to bathroom I couldn't help letting the words of the song roll over me.

_**do you remember me  
lost for so long  
will you be on the other side  
or will you forget me  
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming  
am I too lost to be saved  
am I too lost?**_

I let the water run down my shoulders and let it wash away the bad memories I closed my eyes and saw his jade colored green eyes looking at me when he told me loved me. I shook my head and washed away the memory with the shampoo.

After I was all dried off and fully dressed I took one last look at myself in the mirror smiled at my subtle makeup.

"It was a dozen years ago, you are not the same woman, you are stronger….and damn it people like you," I laughed at the memory of staying up late with Alice and Rose watching the Stuart Smiley skit.

I started towards Fadó and enjoying the early summer night and the fact that tomorrow was Saturday and I had nothing I needed to do, I was looking forward to my normal Saturday ritual of visiting the local bookstore to give in to my secret obsession of romance novels.

I approached the bar and did one last affirmation to myself. _It's just drinks, what's the worst that could happen? If you are uncomfortable you get up and leave…. But dammit knock 'em dead before you bolt. _

I opened the door and walked inside, thinking it would take me a minute to find Alice and the group but wasn't that surprised once I heard Emmett's booming laughter carrying throughout the whole building. I followed the laughter and found myself smiling at how much I did miss the big brut that was Emmett.

Alice must have seen me because she jumped up from the table and ran over. "Bella! You made it! I'm so happy to see you. Oh my god you look amazing! Where did you get those shoes? Very fuck me hot!"

I couldn't stop the laughter that erupting from my chest. "Alice, slow down! It's any wonder you have time to breathe." I felt a different arm on my shoulder and turned to look at Rose who still looked as amazing and she always has, tall, blonde and basically perfection. Her electric blue eyes were glazed over with sheen of tears.

"Oh, Bella." Rose stammered out.

"Oh no, not you, you are the one I'm hoping won't be like this," I hugged my old friend and was hit with the same guilt I had when I saw Alice earlier in the day.

Before I had a chance to ask Rose what was new I was enveloped in a hug so tight and was being lifted off the ground.

"Oh, Jelly Belly, I've missed you!" Emmett boomed. Once I was back on the ground and able to catch my breath.

"I missed you too Emmett," I said with sincerity I didn't realize I still had in me.

I turned and was looking at a broad and strong chest, when I looked up she was face to face with the same electric blue eyes that matched Rose's.

"Jasper! How is it you got better looking?"

"It's all Alice, you should know that." I turned to my little pixie friend and hugged her again.

"Thank you so much for asking me to come out tonight." Alice pulled away and opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by a cough from behind me. I turned around all I saw was jade green eyes.

**EPOV**

_Fuck me_ that was all I could think from the moment I saw Bella walk into the Fadó. I was speechless. She was always beautiful and always left me fumbling with words but now there were no words.

I watched her make her rounds and give hugs and smiling and looking like the same Bella she was all those years ago, but she wasn't the same Bella. It seemed like yesterday, but it was so long ago. Twelve years ago that I walked away. Twelve years ago that I thought I did the right thing. I saw her talking to Alice and coughed to get her attention. I hoped when she turned and saw me that she would smile and see the regret in my eyes and know what I've known since that night, she was it for me and I fucked up.

I watched her move her hair off her bare shoulder and I caught my breath as I remember kissing that shoulder and holding her close and the noises that I brought from deep within her. I let my breath out.

"Hi Bella."

Her eyes got cold, her lips thinned out. "Hi Edward, how are you?" she said in a quick tone.

"Good… good you look great." I let out with a bit of a squeak in my voice.

"Thanks so do you," and then she turned and everything I wanted to say yet I couldn't came flooding back to my mind.

I turned and gave Emmett and Jasper half hearted smile and I went back to the table and took a long hard swig of my Guinness.

"Give it time," Jasper said with a small smile. I know he meant well and I hope he was right, but maybe just maybe he was wrong and too much time had passed. Could she ever forgive me? I know I wouldn't if the roles were reversed. I watched Bella as she laughed and talked with Alice and Rose and I couldn't stop myself from wondering what if….. Fuck I couldn't do that, that hasn't helped me at all over the years. The girls walked towards the bar and I turned to Emmett and Jasper and spoke in a hushed tone.

"I fucked up…," before I could continue Emmett interrupted me.

"Yeah you did, but just leave her alone man, she seems to be doing really great now and you can't just swing in and screw with her again, it's not fair to her."

"I don't want to screw with her again, I just want her to forgive me and I want her to know the truth."

"Fuck, Edward, if this is just about clearing you conscious then let it go, we don't know how she really handled everything because she was gone the next morning," Jasper said I could see his eyes get hard.

I looked up and saw Bella taking a pull from a Boddingtons beer, which was surprising since she was never much of a drinker. I guess more than her appearance has changed over the years. For a moment our eyes met and I could see the same sparkle in her eyes that I saw all those years ago. I felt something tugging at my chest and I felt it for the first time in years, hope, and I smiled because I would make this right with her. I wanted to be the reason she was smiling.

**BPOV**

I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I wanted to hit him. But I didn't, he wasn't going to see that he got to me. Couldn't God just give me one little bit of karma ass kicking, let him get a beer gut or lose his hair, something ANYTHING! I could see the markings on his arms peaking out underneath the sleeves of his black Henley shirt. I watched him run his hand through his hair and almost caught myself reaching out to run my own hands through his hair.

I listened to Alice talk about her boutique and Rose talk about the auto shop that she and Emmett owned. I heard about Rose's three year old little boy who had Emmett's hard hair and Rose's bright blue eyes. I heard memories that they had made without me, memories that I should have been a part of, but I wasn't. I let what happened control me for too long. I wasn't going to let it continue.

Once we reached the bar, I quickly ordered a Boddingtons and turned to the girls.

"Listen I have to say this and get it off my chest."

"No, Bella, you don't we were pissed and hurt at first, but after we talked about it we completely understood," Rose said.

"I need to get this out there for me, I never meant to hurt you guys, but I couldn't stay in Forks anymore, I couldn't see them. It may not have been the best answer for the problem, but I was so broken after that night. I wasn't thinking properly all I could think was to get as far away as possible and quickly. It was wrong of me not want to give you guys the opportunity to try and talk me into staying. It just hurt too much," I said with a sad smile.

Alice looked at me. "The past doesn't matter anymore, what matters now is that we found you again and damn it you put us through that bullshit again I will personally kick your ass myself."

I couldn't help but smile; I threw my arms around both of them and smiled. "Fuck I missed you guys."

"Holy shit, did sweet innocent little Bella just drop the F-Bomb. Well I'll be damned," Rose said in mock horror.

I decided at that moment, that Alice was right, I found them again, and I wasn't going to let him get to me or run me out of town again. I could be friends with them; I could do that and keep my distance from Edward.

We walked back to the table and I watched the girls sit down next to their husbands that left only one seat open. _FUCK MY LIFE!_, right next to Edward. I pulled the chair out and slightly away from Edward. I didn't want him to get the idea that we could be buddy-buddy again.

"So Belly, what do you do these days?" Emmett asked using that god awful nickname he gave me.

"Uh, I'm a lawyer at Volturi Associates," I said meekly.

"Oh yeah? What do you specialize in? Edward and I need some papers drawn up for the shop," Jasper said with a smile.

"I'm a divorce attorney, I don't handle corporations or business ventures," with my eyes quickly glances in Edward's direction.

The conversations went smoothly for most of the night, Edward barely spoke and only when asked a direct question. He was pretty focused on tearing apart his napkin. Before I knew it, it was 2am and they were closing up for the night. I stood to walk back to my apartment and I stumbled a bit. I felt a hand on my elbow and a felt his breath on my ear,

"I guess some things never do change, do they Bella?" I pulled back and looked into Edward's eyes confused. Did he really think… no he couldn't…. he wouldn't….

Picking up my purse, I gave everyone a hug, well not everyone, and made promises of calling over the weekend and get together again.

I started heading towards my apartment when I looked over my shoulder, I saw him following me.

"What the fuck Edward, what are you doing?" I said in my bitchiest tone I could muster with four beers in me.

" Looks like we are headed the same direction home." his eyes bore into mine.

"Fine just don't talk to me." _Because if you do then I might want to kiss you and forget why I'm supposed to hate you._

"As you wish," he said with a smirk.

"Don't pull that shit on me, it won't work." _Yes it will_.

"Just so you know Bella, we'll have to talk sometime, not tonight because we both need to be sober, but we need to put everything on the table. If we're going to continue to be put together like this I don't want the evil eye every time you see me."

"Evil eye?" I screamed. "Are you fucking kidding me? I tried back there, I was talking. You just sat there brooding like a wounded puppy, sorry if I don't feel uncomfortable around you, sorry if you obviously have left over things to deal with, but I don't. It was a long time ago I've moved on…. I've gotten over it; you and I both know that our feelings were obviously very different for each other back then."

With his jaw clenched he looked me. "Are you done?" I just nodded and turned and started walking. "I lied Bella." I stopped dead in my tracks.

Without turning and facing him I said in a low voice, "No, you don't get to do this, not now not EVER!" I started walking again increasing my pace. I needed to get away from him and I needed to be alone now. I couldn't let him see me cry.

"I may not get to do it now or ever in your eyes, but I want, no I need you to know the truth. I need you to know the whole story." He grabbed my arm and spun me so I faced him; my tears were betraying me now.

"So you moved on huh?" he asked as he wiped the tears from my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

"Edward, I can't do this, I don't want to do this. Just let me go." I pleaded.

"Fine for tonight, but Bella I promise you that we will talk about this… God I missed you." Then his lips closed over mine. It started out slow and I didn't know what to do, so I let my heart take over, I wrapped my arms around his neck and I kissed him back, our lips caressing each other. I felt his tongue on my bottom lip and my head got back in control, I pulled my arms away and pulled back.

"I can't do this Edward, not again." I turned and walked towards my building. My fingers were running over my lips in shock; I could still feel his lips on mine and that after all this time it seemed that his lips still fit perfectly and he brought things out of me that I thought had been long time dead and dormant.

I turned at my door and looked in his direction he was still standing there under the street lamp. He lifted his hand offered a small wave. I couldn't stop the small smile that pulled from my lips. _Maybe there is truth in forgiveness_

**I hope you liked it, please feel free to hit that little button at the bottom and let me know if you liked it or hated it. **

**Also, I am looking for a full-time Beta so if you are interested let me know. **

**Thx!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I first off want to say a big thank you and I 3 U to wytchwmn75, she puts up with my ass and I owe her big for that... I also want to thank everyone who reviewed and alerted my first little ditty... So without further ado...on with the... oh wait...**

**Disclaimer: Do I really need to remind you that I don't own? SM owns the characters, me just the plot...**

**BPOV**

It was early Sunday morning and I groaned as I heard my Blackberry vibrating on my nightstand. "Unfuckingbelievable not even 9am," I said without looking at the caller ID I grumble out "'ello?"

"Rise and shine!" Alice sang into the phone.

"Alice it's too damn early for this today…."

"No way, you, me and Rose, lunch noon Palisade at Elliot Bay Marina."

"Ugh, that's fine, I'll be there with bells on."

"Oh Bella, bells just don't work for you…. We've had this discussion," Alice giggled.

"Okay Alice, I will be there, and I will attempt to be presentable."

"Great! I'm so excited!" Alice practically yelled into the phone. I pulled the phone away from my ear and closed my eyes tightly as I hung up the phone without saying good-bye.

I rolled over and tried to fall back asleep, but all I could think about were his lips and the way he kissed me on Friday night. Throwing the covers off of me, I stumbled my way into the kitchen, in desperate need of coffee and copious amounts.

While my trusty coffee maker sputtered with the aroma of Komodo Dragon, I turned on my heels and made my way to my bathroom.

Once I was all clean and a little more awake then when Alice called, I went and picked out my clothes for the day. After settling on a cute black and white striped tank top with a purple flower on the left side, a pair of Capri pants and some black ballet flats; I added the last touch, my trusty glasses.

I stayed in last night going over my notes for the Delcore's divorce proceedings that would start next week. _No you are not thinking about work today, it's Sunday, you know the day of the Sabbath, the day of rest…. _**if she's not really religious, think about adding something that says she's not, otherwise people may think she should be going to church instead of lunch (not me mind you)

Glancing at the clock, it wasn't too early for me to give Renee a call. My mother was the kind of woman that when you first meet her you would think, _Wow this woman is a complete ditz,_ but then she would knock you on your ass when she started discussing things like blows per minute and rock sedimentation. You see my 'ditz' mother was a geotechnical engineer. She loved being on a job site with excavator machines and would talk my ear off about it constantly. It completely bored me to tears.

"Hi Mom, how's Jacksonville?" I said.

"Bella! It's so good to hear your voice; it's really nice out today going to be a hot one that's for sure. How's Seattle? Is it raining?"

"Gah! No Mom, it's actually really nice out, I'm going to be heading out for lunch soon. Guess who I ran into and ended up having drinks with the other night?" I said with nervous apprehension. After the whole Forksgate fiasco, my mom was not a real big fan of Edward and my other friends back in Forks.

"I don't know honey, you never tell me about any of your friends or your life outside of work, so who was it?"

"Alice Cullen, you remember her, from Forks?" I start gnawing on my thumb nail in hopes that she wouldn't lose it.

"Alice hmm… She's _his_ sister right?" I could hear the bitterness in her voice, his name was like a curse to her, actually if I was being honest it was worse than calling someone a cum guzzling road whore.

"Yes Mom, actually the whole group went out; it was really great seeing everyone and catching up. That's who I'm having lunch with today, Alice and Rose." _Dear God let her be nice, let her be nice….._

"Are you INSANE Isabella Marie? Those girls were not your real friends; they let you sit back and be treated like a common play thing, like you didn't matter and God dammit Bella, you should mean everything to any man who loves you, or claims to love you like that boy did." I heard more mumbling under her breath that sounded a lot like _cocksucker. _

"Mom its fine, really it was so long ago. Honestly I never knew the truth if they did know it was going on the whole time or if they had just found out the same way that I had." I was trying really hard for her to see things from my point of view.

"I missed them; they both got married, and Rose has a baby now. I wasn't apart for any of that and it kills me, but if it will make you feel better I promise to keep my eyes open." Hopefully that would tie her over for at least a little while.

"That's fine honey, I just worry about you. I'm your mother and I don't care if you are on the brink of turning thirty, I will always worry about you."

"It means a lot to me that you still worry, but please try and remember I'm a big girl now, I can take care of myself."

We talked for a little bit longer about her job and how she was just up in St. Paul, Minnesota doing some kind of digging for some kind of tank; I don't really know she starts in on her work stuff and I tend to shut down. After saying our token 'love you' and good-byes, I grabbed my purse and headed down to meet Alice and Rose. I have to admit I was more excited about this lunch. I don't know if it was seeing them or the fact that I knew the guys would not be around, but I wasn't as nervous as I was on Friday night. **too many I's in this paragraph; try rewording last sentence.

Arriving at Palisade just before noon, I was shown a table overlooking the marina. The waitress came up and took my drink order. Before she could return, I heard Alice come walking in and Rose was right behind her. Rose was on her cell phone, "No Emmett he cannot play outside alone, just watch your son… I'll be home eventually…. Well maybe, there are no guarantees". They spotted me and both greeted me with warm, tight hugs.

Alice quickly started in, "So did you do anything fun last night? I mean you are the single girl of the group, and you've got to have a shitton of guys lining up to take you out." _Gee Alice fishing much?_

"No, I stayed in last night and got caught up on some work," I said putting some bread in my mouth in hopes that would stop the questioning. I was wrong.

"The one thing I didn't hear from you at all on Friday is about a man in your life, please, there has to be someone or a few someone's that you like to spend your time with?" Rose said as she flagged down the waitress.

"There's no one, and there hasn't been, at least not seriously, in a few years." I bit my lip, _did I really have to sound so pathetic?_

"So who was the last guy to make Bella Swan swoon?" Rose asked raising her eyebrow at me. Is she kidding? I haven't discussed boys with anyone since, well since these two back in high school.

"It's okay Bella, you don't have to tell us." I couldn't help but smile at Alice and her supportive nature.

"It's cool; it just seems like so long ago. I think the last guy to really make me _swoon_ was Riley Paulson, my senior year of college. We dated on and off for about two years during my senior year and a little after. It just wasn't working; I didn't see a future with him so we ended things." Rose looked at me skeptically.

"Really? That's it? It's so cut and dry, almost a little… cold."

"Yeah well it was a long time ago, I've detached myself from the whole Riley relationship." It was a sad excuse, I knew it, but what could I say to them? _The truth might be a good place to, oh I don't know, start. Tell them you never fully got over Edward or what happened. _

Looking up at the two women that used to be the only ones I trusted, I felt the need to give them something, anything, to take the looks of concern off their faces.

"Well, there is one guy now, but we aren't serious and I'm not really that thrilled with the idea of taking things further with him. Jake, that's his name, is a nice guy and he's really good looking but when he kisses me good night it's like he's trying to eat my face; I mean come on, it's a kiss and it feels like I'm being lapped at by some dog." _Okay, totally harsh word vomit much?_

Rose was staring at me, mouth wide open like she was going to be catching flies or something. Alice just had the glazed over look. I tried really hard but I couldn't help it, I let the laugh building in my chest burst out.

"You're joking right? I mean there is no way that a guy can be that bad of a kisser?" Rose asked trying to suppress her own laughter.

"Oh God, I really wish I was, but I'm not and I've tried to avoid going out with him again, but he keeps calling; how do you tell a guy that he seems to be perfect for you all around, I mean great look, great conversation, you have fun with him, but you would rather date a Bassett hound then him?" I looked over at Alice and she finally broke laughing uncontrollably.

"A Bassett Hound? REALLY? Oh God he must be bad."

"Yeah well, they can't all be perfect, can they? Okay new topic; I'm no longer discussing my joke of a love life. So Charlie's getting remarried." _Please let it work please please please let it work._

And jackpot, Alice squealed, "OMG! Really that's so awesome, who's he marrying? When? Are you going?" I just rolled my eyes and smiled as I gushed about how great Sue Clearwater has been for him.

We ordered our lunches and got caught up on the time we missed while being apart. I loved hearing about Jasper and Emmett and how they both proposed. Rose filled me in on the horrors of child birth. _Remember to refill your birth control pills._ After our lunches were cleared, we sat drinking our iced teas and diet cokes when I heard a hand slam down on the table and Rose looked at me with a fierceness that is only reserved for those she wants to scare the living shit out of. _It's totally working on me._

"What?" I looked at her confused. "What do you want from me?"

"I want to know what happened when you left the bar the other night. I saw you leave with Edward." Rose said giving me some kind of sly smirk like she knew already. **there were a lot of "what's" there so I changed up the sentence.

"What the hell are you talking about? I didn't leave with Edward; I walked home on my own, his apartment is apparently in the same direction as mine." It felt like I was seeking a pardon from the Governor.

"Okay so he didn't walk you home?" I was surprised that it was Rose that was asking the questions, while Alice seemed to be in the know of what went down Friday.

"He didn't walk me home, and I don't want to talk about it. Can you please just leave it alone?" I begged.

"No! We will not leave it alone. He was staring at you all night like he was itching to….to… I don't know. do something; I've never seen Edward like that before."

I turned to Alice, "What do you know?" Her eyes opened wide and just started babbling nonsense.

"I don't know what you mean, I don't know anything. I'm just as curious as Rose to hear your side of everything."

"My side, like you've already heard his side?" I said raising my eyebrow at her.

"Not from him, no, but I may or may not have heard something from Jasper on Saturday night, but come on that's just pillow talk."

"I'm curious, what did you hear happened?" _This is going to be rich._

"Nothing okay, I just know that Edward tried to talk to you, but you wouldn't listen and he was torn up about how to make you listen. Bella, he really wants to make things right with you. After you left…"

"No Alice, it's not our place. You need to let Edward tell her."

"Rose, if she won't give him the chance then why not? Maybe it'll help her understand what we all know now."

"Please stop talking about me like I'm not here. What happened to Edward after I left? I thought he was all happy in his perfect life with Tanya." I snarled at her name.

"HA! Perfect… happy… Tanya!" Rose was covering her mouth

"Okay someone needs to start talking otherwise I'm going to leave because I really hate not being in on the joke." Pushing off from the table

"Bella stop! It's not a joke, well Tanya is a joke, but that's besides the point…." Rose chided me.

I turned to Alice trying to look stern, "Talk woman!"

"After _that night_ when Edward learned that you left Forks; he kinda shut down. He didn't want to hang out, he just was locked up in his own little world; it was like the light was gone. We all knew it and we tried everything to get him to the way he was. He finally did snap in August and went to your Dad's house…"

"He WHAT! Charlie never told me about this."

"Yeah well do you blame Charlie? In his eyes he was protecting his daughter from the shithead boyfriend who drove her away when he was finally getting you back." Rose was quick to interrupt.

"Okay go on, he tried to talk to Charlie…and?"

"Charlie slammed the door in his face. but not before tearing Edward a new one and from what I've heard Edward didn't fight back he knew he needed to hear all of that and more. Once we were all UDub he tried to look you up there, but he found out that you turned down the scholarship, he tried everything to find you."

Rose turned to me, "Bella, I know what you think went down that night, and what you think of your whole relationship with him, and what you think it meant to him, but you need to let him talk. Let Edward tell you everything."

I sat back staring at my napkin that was still resting in my lap.

_Talk to him? Were they crazy? I can't even be in the same room with him without wanting to scream. I can't give him anything, he's not worth it. _

I finally looked up, feeling the stinging of tears behind my eyes. "You guys I'm sorry but I can't. It was so long ago I just wish that everyone would just drop it so that we can all move on with our lives."

Looking at my Blackberry I saw it was almost three. _Shit where has the time gone?_

"I have to go, I still have ton of stuff to do around my apartment today. It was great seeing you and I had a lot of fun at lunch. I'll call you," and with that I grabbed my purse and I left the restaurant.

APOV

I wanted to cry for Bella, I wanted to hug her, I wanted to tell her that he just freaked out, that yes it started out as a joke, but in the end he fell in love with her; and that for the first time in years the light was back in his eyes Friday night. **I wanna know now!

"Rose, there has to be something we can do. We can't just let the two of them wander around without this getting resolved. Even if they don't end up with their fairytale; they both need this."

"I know Ali, but we've done what we can the ball is now in Bella's court."

RPOV

GAH! She is so frustrating, why can't she just see what's right in front of her face? He's pined away for this woman for too fucking long, and she was just going to throw it away. I knew exactly what was going on here, she was trying to lie to us, and pretend that she didn't need the closure. She was ready to move on. What complete and total bullshit.

"Total Bullshit!"

"Uh, inner dialogue isn't always a good thing when you're with other people Rose!"

"Come on, get your purse we're going to the shop; this is pissing me off, and I'm pulling out the big guns now. Bella needs to see for herself. She needs to knock down the God damn walls she's built up. I mean, I totally get why they are there because that was some fucked up shit he pulled, but she just needs to see."

Alice and I left the restaurant and headed down to Lucky Stars. We have to knock these two in the head once and for all.

EPOV

It was ten thirty on Sunday morning; Jasper and I were getting ready for our first appointments of the day. While Jasper had most of his day tied up with a back piece, I had a few appointments and would handle all of the walk-ins.

I was sterilizing my work area when I heard the familiar strumming of the guitar strings, and immediately remembered dancing with Bella to these words, and singing them in her ear, and meaning every word….

_Touch your lips just so I know_

_In your eyes, love, it glows so_

_I'm bare-boned and crazy for you_

_When you come crash_

_Into me, baby_

_And I come into you_

I couldn't help but smile at the memory of her blushed cheeks when I asked her to hike up her skirt for me. Something hit me in the back of the head; I looked up and saw Jasper scowling at me.

"Get your head out of your ass, I know what you're thinking and it needs to stop. I told you the other night and I'll tell you again, let it go. For the love of God Bella has a life without you running around trying to fuck it up."

"No Jazz, I can't do that, I won't do that. Knowing back then she was it for me and let her get away, hell I fucking pushed her away, and for what? Because I was a fucking stupid little kid; who thought he knew better. Thinking I'd get past it and that I'd find someone else. Well there isn't anyone else; no one even comes close to her. I need her back or at least to try. If she tells me that I mean nothing to her, that she doesn't still feel the same, then I know it's over and I will let her go. Until that time comes, I'm going to fight for her like I should've back then, or I'll spend my life wondering what if."

"About fucking time you douchebag." Jasper smiled at me.

_What the fuck just happened here? I don't think I'm drunk… or am I?_

"What? Care to elaborate on that one?" I was able to stutter out.

"Listen I think you should back off and let her go, but if you honestly still love her after all this time, and really want to make her happy then go for it. But the minute she tells you to back off and leave her alone, you do. Got it?" _Who would have thought that Jasper could be almost threatening? _

"Yeah I got it, I don't know if I should do the big old grand gesture thing or just start small?" I ran my hands through my hair before rubbing them over my face.

"Start small, simple is always best. Trust me." Jasper and his southern charm, chicks always ate that shit right up.

"Simple is always best." I repeated more to myself.

I moved through my day as if it were any other Sunday. I had a few clients that were looking to either add on to their current pieces, or do cover-ups, which is always a nice way for my day to go. I had to convince one girl not to get a tramp stamp as it was so 1999. Luckily she listened to me.

Around four o'clock the door of the shop swung open and I snapped my head up just in time to see Rose and Alice come walking in. Rose looked pissed and I didn't want to be on the other end of that look. But apparently I was.

"Stop right there Cullen, we're going to have a little talk." _Fuck what did Bella tell them happened on Friday?_

"What did I do now?" I said rubbing the back of my neck.

"It's what you haven't done yet you douchebag."

"What the hell? Is today call Edward douchebag day and I didn't get the memo?"

I looked at Alice and she had a beaming smile across her face. I knew that smile, she was planning something. _Why can't I ever just do things on my own? Why do everyone and their mom have to be involved?_

"Listen Tink, whatever you and Cruella over there have planned, stop it right now. I'm handling things my way. I'm a big boy; I don't need my sister holding my hand through every aspect of my life."

Then I saw it, the pain in Alice's eyes. _You really are a douchebag. _

"You need to watch the way you talk to your sister asshat." Jasper sneered from behind me, as I felt him hit me in the upside the head.

"Edward, we just want you to do what's right and not fuck this up. It's in everyone's best interest if you don't do this on your own. For fuck's sake the last thing you handled on your own is what got you in this position in the first place." Alice said raising her voice.

"Tink, just let me be, I swear I know what I'm doing. If I hit the point where I don't, you will be my first phone call I swear."

"When," Alice said raising side of mouth in a smirk.

"Okay fine, _when_ I need your help I will call you. In the meantime just sit back and let me work. I have woo'd a few women over the years, including Bella. I did it back then and I will do it again."

"Just no fucking notes alright. Be open, be honest. Tell her the whole fucking story. EVERYTHING!" Rose chimed in.

Getting drunk with them a few years ago and finally telling everyone what really went down with Bella is something I still regret. They really can't seem to mind their own business It all started with that fucking note. I wonder what ever happened to that note. Did she burn it in an exorcism to rid me from her life? Did she just toss it away like it meant nothing? Is it still sitting in Forks, under her pillow like it was back then? Or, did she have it with her?

"Tink, Rose, I am going to need your help with one thing. I'm not sure when but can you make sure Bella meets us one night at 88 Keys?" The wheels were turning in my head and I couldn't stop them.

Alice just nodded with a smile so wide I'm sure her face would be hurting later. Rose just gave me a quick nod and then patted my shoulder. "We'll get her there. You just make sure she has reason to stay." With those final words Alice and Rose were gone.

I turned to my computer and with the chant of _simple is best_ in my head I did just that.

BPOV

My Monday was really starting off shitty. There was no other way to phrase it. I was late getting into work; my afternoon deposition was cancelled and needed to be rescheduled but worst of all Aro wanted to meet with me to discuss the potential of another new client. Well, so much for me trying to get a social life. Just when I started to get into the swing of things at my desk there was a knock at the door. "Come in," I yelled without looking up.

"Looks like someone really wanted to…uh….brighten your day?" Angela said with a snicker. I looked up from my computer and was floored at the sight before me. Angela held a large vase filled with nothing but carnations. And not just plain carnations, they were in every single color you could possibly come up with. _What the hell?_

"Put them on the table for me please Angela." I said looking back at my computer. I didn't need to see the card to know who they were from.

_We were standing in the Forks Flower Emporium trying to find flowers for Esme's birthday. Edward wanted to do a nice simple bouquet. "What about these?" he asked holding up a plain white carnation. _

"_Are you kidding me? Carnations are the worst flower ever created. They are just filler flowers. No one actually thinks they are pretty." _

"_I think they have a certain beauty in them." He said giving me a smirk. Why did he always know what way to look at me just to make me melt?_

"_Fun little fact; Carnations used to be used for funerals to cover up the smell back in the old days. Also, I can have the carnations colored into any color you prefer; they are really a versatile flower." The florist told us. I just nodded and walked away. _

Angela coughed "So who are they from?" she asked twisting her hands in front of her.

"Go ahead and read the card for yourself. I don't really care what he has to say."

Angela jumped and grabbed the card and then began reading.

_Someone once told me these were just filler flowers._

_But how can something so beautiful and colorful be filler?_

_Thinking about you….. E_

"Holy shit, E as in Edward?" Her mouth stood agape.

"Yes, Edward, now can we please just drop this?"

"Uh no! Better yet fuck no! I'm making reservations for us for lunch at the Italian place down the street. Be prepared to talk woman."

I groaned. Why can't anyone just let this shit go? Why did everyone feel the need to talk, talk, talk this damn thing to death?

"Hey Ang, do you think I should call him and thank him?"

"It would be the nice, adult thing to do. Are you feeling particularly adultish today?"

"Angela, I don't believe adultish is a word. And no, I'm not about him or about this." Waving my hand at the flower and the card that Angela had placed on my desk in front of me.

"Well then maybe you shouldn't call him. Can you just send him a quick text message thanking him?"

"No I don't have his number, I'll think about calling Alice for it after lunch."

"Works for me, I'm not kidding either, be prepared to share."

As I shooed Angela back to her desk, I found myself staring at the card. Wow, it's his hand writing, he actually went to the store instead of taking the easy way out and ordering online. I shouldn't be impressed by this gesture, I shouldn't be itching to talk to him or see him.

I ran my hand through my hair and groaned. "Damn it all to hell." I picked up my Blackberry and started searching for Alice's number, but I couldn't call her. _What am I supposed to say to her? "Hey Alice, can I get your brother's number, he sent me filler flowers and I want to thank him." Yeah she'd pounce on that bit of information like a cat in heat. _

I turned to my computer, _ah the wonders of Google. _I typed in – Lucky Stars – Seattle, Washington. I sat there with my fingers hovering over the enter key. I found myself looking up and over my shoulder. _Um you are alone in this office, paranoid much… no one can see what you searching and no one needs to find out. _"It's just a phone call." I hit enter.

800,000 hits…. And we have a winner…..  
(263) 555-6200

I grabbed my phone and dialed before I could change my mind. _What is wrong with you? There is nothing wrong with a simple "Thank you." _

Then, I hear his voice, "Hi you've reached Lucky Stars Tattoos, Jasper and Edward are both unavailable at the moment, if you please leave your name, number, and reason for your call we will be sure to get back to you. Oh and we only do walk-ins on Sundays. Thanks and have a great day." _BEEP_

"Uh, Hi Edward it's me, I…I… just wanted to say thank you for my filler flowers, it was very kind of you to think of me. I guess I'll see you around… Oh and it's Bella."

I slammed the phone down. _Oh god did I sound like a complete tool? Wait can women sound like tools? Snookie… anyone?_

Thus in turn, thinking of Snookie made me start humming the tune for the Oompa Loompa's. Before I knew it, it was 12:30 and Angela was knocking on my door. "Come on B, let's hit it."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my purse. Damn the luck for cancellations. **are you talking about the deposition being cancelled? You may want to clarify that.

We walked to Saluto's in complete silence. I was going to end up chewing my lip off; I was scared of my assistant. _What the hell is wrong with me? It's not like she's Rose and can maim you with a single look. _

Once we were sitting down and had ordered our drinks, she let out a deep breath and looked at me. She started tapping her fingers on the table. I sat there looking at her gnawing on my lip.

"Oh for all that is holy, Bella, talk to me. Tell me what happened that earned you that vase filled with flowers."

"I didn't do anything to earn those flowers. In fact, if you want them you can take them home with you." _Wow, could you suck at avoiding this topic anymore?_

"Stop avoiding Bella. What. Happened. This. Weekend?"

I groaned for about the millionth time today. "Alright, but no interruptions. Save all peanut gallery comments until I'm through." She nodded I told her everything that happened in high school, everything that I didn't tell Alice and Rose about what went down Friday night. After I was done I blew out a much needed breath of air and I waited… and waited…

Angela was just staring at me slack jawed. "Angela, honey, close your mouth your going to catch flies that way." She snapped her mouth shut, took a drink of her iced tea, and adjusted the napkin on her lap. _For Pete's sake the suspense of her comments that I knew were coming were killing me. _

"You need to tell him that you are not someone that can be played with and he shouldn't have played you like he did back then. You are better than this and you are better than him. Also to be cherished and loved not treated like some piece of meat and a joke." I've never seen Angela so scowling mad before. I could have sworn I saw steam coming out of her ears.

"Bella, you are more than my boss you are my friend, and I'm telling you this as your friend, the one who has been around for the last 5 years, during your internship, and up the ladder. You need to go home take a nice long hot bath and ask yourself, is Edward Cullen really worthy of my time anymore? Do I really need to hear what pathetic excuse he has for the way he treated me?" And then you need to decide if you really want to bring him back into your life even on a friend's level. I don't think he deserves to lick the inside of your running shoes, but that's just me."

I stared at Angela wondering where all the hatred of bastard men came from.

"You're right Angela, absolutely one hundred percent, right."

"Make one of your lists Bella. Weigh the pros and cons, and sleep on it for like a month, shit like this needs more than a night to fester."

And that's what I did, I went home, opened a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, and filled my bathtub. Sinking down into the warm water, I drank while I thought.

I remembered the first time he told me he loved me. We were standing in the rain, after spending the afternoon dancing and jumping in puddles like we were six years old again.

I remembered the look in his eye the night I gave him all of me for the first time.

I remembered the look in his eye as he ripped my heart out. I could see it in his eyes that I never meant anything to him. I was nothing more than a piece of ass, a notch on his bed post.

I remembered the look in his eye when kissed me on Friday. The need, the longing that I'm sure were reflecting in my own eyes.

I closed my eyes and let myself sink farther into the water.

**A/N **

**One last shot out (did I just date myself or what) to the lovely's over at FanFicAholics... check them out... http:/www[dot] facebook [dot] com/pages/FanficAholics-Anon-Where-Obsession-Never-Sleeps/124067670958784**

**You can follow me on Twitter, I tend to ramble about mercy killings of my husband and desires to run off to far away places...  
**


	3. Chapter 3

**I am so sorry for the delay, work and other RL stuff has been kicking my a$$ lately which has caused me to become anti-social... So what did everyone think of Eclipse? I was hoping to sneak out and see it again today but I got busy doing this crazy wife/ mom stuff. As usual I would like to thank Wytchwmn75... she is my goddess and my savior. Bella may seem a little crazy in this chapter, but I promise it will make sense in the next chapter. Which is outlined already and I will start writing tonight...**

**As usual I don't own, but I do dream of Edward almost nightly... shh don't tell hubs**

**EPOV**

Sitting on the edge of my bed staring at my phone, I knew what needed to be done next, and she wouldn't come if I was the one to extend the invitation. So Alice it was.

I pressed number three on my speed dial and waited for her to pick up.

"Hey Eddie, what's up?"

"Hey Alice, listen, I was thinking we could all get together tonight at Lamp's."

"Of course, I'll let Jazz know. Can I ask what brought this on? You aren't hoping that a certain brunette shows up, are you?"

"Well it would be nice to see Bella, but I would also understand her reason for not coming tonight."

As much as it was killing me to give her the space she deserved and try to be understanding of her feelings, everything had to be timed just perfectly. Dammit if I didn't want to crawl on my knees and beg for her to listen.

"Okay, well I'll give her a call in a little bit and let her know, and then I guess we'll find out tonight."

Alice and I hung up, and I went to my iHome to search for the perfect song to express what she meant to me. While cleaning my kitchen and picking up around the house I listened to song after song and nothing seemed to fit perfectly.

It must have been a few hours later while wiping down the counters that the opening chords and the vocals of Jason Wade struck me right in my heart.

Grabbing my acoustic guitar with the song now on repeat I began to pluck away.

This was perfect; hopefully, this would help her see the Bella I've always seen.

**BPOV**

Once I received the text from Alice letting me know the plans for tonight I decided to not try so hard. Who was there to impress? _Who are you kidding? You want him to look at you. _My ripped up Capri's and sweater dress was just going to have to cut it.

Pulling open the door to Lamps I was welcomed to the chords of Jason Mraz's, _I'm Yours._ It was such an upbeat song that my foot began tapping on its own. This week had gone by a lot smoother than anticipated, and I was excited when Alice texted me this afternoon inviting me to meet up with everyone for "a few drinks and some good music,"as Alice had put it.

Scanning the bar, I was hoping that I'd be as lucky as last time and would hear Emmett's loud voice from across the room. After scouring the room, I couldn't find any of them, and just as I was getting ready to wait outside, a familiar mess of bronze hair stuck out from the crowd. The smile that formed on my lips couldn't be helped. As annoying as his gesture on Monday had been, I still couldn't help but remember the good times we had.

I found myself walking in his direction twisting the handles of my purse in my hands.

_What the fuck is wrong with me? Why am I nervous? _

I already knew the answer. He has more control over me than I'm willing to accept. When his eyes met mine, he was grinning ear to ear like he had something up his sleeve.

"Hey Bella, how are you?" he asked as he raked his hand through his hair. I lifted my hand in a shy wave.

"I'm good Edward, how are you? How was the rest of your week?"

"It was good, can't complain, you know…" he trailed off

"Well that's good."

He quickly interrupted me, "Hey, can we try and not be awkward? I just want to sit back and have a good time tonight with our friends."

_Great so I guess I was reading the vibes wrong. _I found myself quickly interrupting him.

"Of course, forget everything that happened last weekend." I said trying to cover my feelings. When I looked up, he was a lot closer than I thought, and he leaned in.

"No Bella, I definitely don't want to forget last week," he whispered softly grazing his lips across the shell of my ear. "But we will talk and soon just not tonight so relax."

I let out a breath that I didn't realize I was holding in. _Damn, he smells good, can we __bottle that?_

Pulling back to look directly in his eye raising my eyebrow, "Ok Cullen, we'll talk later."

I turned to the bar ordering myself a Miller Lite. Just as the bartender placed it in front of me, seeing a large hand slap some money down on the counter;

"It's on me tonight." I turned and saw Jasper grinning down at me.

"Hey there big guy. How are you?" I asked, wrapping my arms around him in a hug.

"Good, I didn't really get a chance to talk to you last weekend. What with Alice and Rose hogging you and then there was Edward."

Rolling my eyes "You know you can ask me anything Jasper, I want to catch up with you just as much as everyone else."

"_Everyone_?" he asked me incredulously.

"Of course, it's time to move on and grow up. We're all entering our thirties this year, we should act like it." I smiled and took a pull from my beer.

"Oh so you want to _move on_, do you?"

Jasper was fishing and I knew it, he lost his subtlety over the years, must have something to do with being married to Alice.

"We'll see Jazz, we'll see," and with that comment I turned and made my way back to everyone. I noticed that Edward wasn't around, but I tried not to be obvious in looking for him in the bar.

"Don't worry he'll be back shortly, he just has to take care of something really quick." I heard Alice whisper in my ear. I turned and smiled at her and gave her a hug pulling back Alice raised her eyebrow at me in question.

I turned and saw Edward head towards the back of the bar with a woman with fire engine red hair. _So that's what he had to take care of real quick. _I found myself getting upset at the sight in front of me. _Of course he hasn't truly changed, he's still the same guy he was all those years ago. Fuck him; I hope he has fun with fire crotch…. Ok now I'm just being vicious and mean just enjoy being with your friends tonight. _

The lights flashed in the bar and then went out. A spotlight lit up on a stage that I didn't notice before. It was empty except for a microphone stand and a bar stool. I turned to Alice.

"What's going on? I didn't think there was a live band tonight." She just turned to me and smiled but said nothing.

She waved her hand to the side of the stage where Edward came walking out holding just an acoustic guitar. I was thoroughly confused now. I didn't know he still played.

"Hi everyone, I just need a few moments of your time then they can turn on the good stuff." He chuckled to himself.

He cleared his throat, "Wow, okay so a few years ago, I fucked up, and I want her to know what she still means to me so… Bella, this is for you."

He sat back and I heard him begin to pluck at his guitar strings to a song that sounded vaguely familiar. His voice sang out and I had to sit down.

_You are the strength, that keeps me walking.  
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.  
You are the light to my soul.  
You are my purpose...you're everything._

My hand going to my mouth, I closed my eyes and just listened.

_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you? _

_Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?_

His voice was smooth as silk, I found myself singing along to a song that had a regular spin on my iPod.

_Cause you're all I want,__ yo__u're all I need  
You're everything, everything  
You're all I want your all I need  
You're everything, everything.  
You're all I want you're all I need.  
You're everything, everything_

I felt an arm wrap around me and looked up to Alice who had tears in her eyes. Her hand came up to my own eyes and wiped tears that I didn't even realize I was shedding.

"Alice, I can't. I have to go," with that I turned and ran out of the bar.

I started walking home with my arms wrapped around myself, letting the tears flow freely now. He told me he never loved me. That I was a game to him. Even if he told me it wasn't the truth last week, spending the last twelve years thinking it was, it's become my truth. It's just too hard to believe, how could he possibly love me?

"BELLA! WAIT!" I knew in the back of my mind, he would come after me. I didn't want him to come after me tonight.

"No Edward, not tonight. You said we would talk later, and it's not later yet. Just leave me alone." I couldn't even find the nerve to turn and face him. I just kept walking.

"I'm not giving up Bella, I want, no, I need for you to believe me."

"Goodnight Edward."

When I finally made it to my condo and turned to go in, I wasn't surprised he was still there behind me. I felt like he was always behind me, he was always there. Even when we were thousands of miles apart, he was always there

I threw my keys on the counter in the kitchen and dropped my purse at my feet. I don't know how but I managed to make it into my bed.

I closed my eyes praying for sleep to take me, but all I saw were his eyes.

_June 1997_

_We had all just graduated from high school and headed down to First Beach for one of many bonfires to come before heading off to UW in the fall. _

_I refused to drink that night as I was put in charge of making sure we all got back to Edward's house safely. _

_Edward was at my side the whole night kissing my temple or my neck telling me he loved me. _

"_Bells, I'm going to go and get another beer do you want some more water?" I just nodded and smiled at my very drunk boyfriend. _

_I'm still not sure how much time had passed and Edward still hadn't returned it had to be at least an hour. I got up from the circle and made my way to the cooler and keg. _

_I walked around the group of people trying to find him, and then I saw her. Long strawberry blonde hair and her arm draped around my boyfriend's neck. I tensed, I couldn't help it. Looking__ at Edward, he __didn't look like he wanted to be there talking to her. In fact, he looked downright pissed off__. I knew they ended things over a year ago and according to Alice it wasn't a pretty break-up._

_I started to make my way over there. I started to hear her voice screeching, "If you don't tell her it's over, I will tell her the truth and that she never meant shit to you. That you were sleeping with me the whole time. You were just trying to prove you could get in the pants of the daughter of the chief of police. You deserve better than her, we are going to be so happy in Seattle baby…" I gasped. Edward looked up and saw me. I turned and ran (or at least tried to) when Edward caught up with me at the car. _

"_Bella wait, we need to talk about this."_

"_Is it true? What Tanya said back there?" _

"_Yes, but..." he didn't have a chance to respond before I slapped him across the face. _

_Climbing my truck and drove back to Charlie's, willing the tears to stop. Hearing his voice calling me to stop, pressing the accelerator harder, faster I needed to get away. Did Rose and Alice know this whole time? If they did why didn't they tell me? Was it all a big joke to them too? _

_Taking the steps two at a time running into my bedroom, I started packing, as I dialed my mom's number in Florida. _

"_Hey Baby, I wasn't expecting to hear from you tonight, shouldn't you be out?"_

"_Mom I'm coming to see you, I'll be there tomorrow. I can't stay here I need to leave, I'll call you from the airport with the details." And with that I hung up the phone. The phone began to shrill as soon as I put the headset down on my bed. I grabbed it "What?" knowing it would be him. I was surprised to hear Alice's voice "Bella, you need to talk to him." I interrupted her immediately "Alice, did you know? Was he sleeping with Tanya?" _

"_Bella, you need to ask him." "Alice just yes or no, did you know?" _

"_Yes, but.." with all confirmation I needed I hung up the phone. _

"_Bells, what's going on?" I turned to see Charlie standing in my doorway. _

"_Dad, can you drive me to Seattle? I want to catch the next flight to Jacksonville. I can't stay here, I'm suffocating."_

"_Did that Cullen boy hurt you, I warned you."_

"_No Dad, just, please can you take me?" _

"_Now? Bella it's 11:00 at night."_

"_Fine if you won't take me then I'll just drive my truck myself, and you can pick it up sometime over the weekend."_

_Charlie looked at me and sighed. "Alright, but I want to know what happened, we'll talk in the car." I nodded my head and started down the stairs towards the cruiser. _

_On the way to the airport I told Charlie what I had overheard at the bonfire. How small I felt, I thought he loved me. _

_Once we arrived at SeaTac, we purchased my ticket for Jacksonville, and I had decided that I was going to pull out of UW and see if my acceptance to ASU was still open. I was not going to face those people who made me the laughing stock of Forks, WA. _

_I made Charlie promise to never tell anyone where I went. I wanted to just go on with my life. _

I heard my cell phone ringing in the kitchen, but couldn't bring myself to get out of bed.

I found the remote for my iHome and hit shuffle. I let out a scream in frustration or sadness. Either way, my iPod was becoming quickly psychic when it came to music of my heart.

The lyrics and words of The Tony Rich Project came through the speakers.

_The nights are lonely, the days are so sad_

_and I just keep thinkin' 'bout the love that we had_

_and I'm missin' you_

_and nobody knows it but me_

_How blue can I get_

_You could ask my heart_

_but like a jigsaw puzzle it's been torn_

_all apart_

_A million words couldn't say just how_

_I feel_

_A million years from now ya know_

_I'll be lovin' you still_

I rolled over and covered my face with my pillow.

I pulled the pillow back over my eyes and groaned turning and seeing that it was just after eight and in desperate need of a caffeine fix I headed towards my coffee maker.

I heard the chime of my blackberry in my purse. I pulled out my phone and saw I had five missed phone calls and ten text messages.

Deciding to ignore them all and head in for a shower.

Once I was all clean and dressed in sweats for the day. I made my way out to my living room and straight to my entertainment center and pulled out all seven seasons of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_. If I was going to mope, I was going to do it my way. Nothing better than watching Buffy kill her one true love.

I had just begun the first season when my phone chimed at me again. _Fuck, I thought I silenced all of the messages. _

The screen read one new text message from Edward's cell.

_**Please open up, I can hear you in there and it's killing me… I need to see your face… **_

Not being able to stop myself, I turned to my front door and looked out the peephole and sure enough there he was, sitting on the ground against the wall in front of my door. I couldn't open the door for him. Turning off my phone, I leaned my back against the door and slid down to sit on the floor.

"Go home Edward, we are not going to talk about this."

I heard him stand up and could feel him leaning against the door.

"God, Bella, tell me what I need to do or say to get you to listen to me. I'm not going anywhere, ever. You always were and always will be it for me. I'm begging you just let me explain."

I stood up and placed my hand on the door,

"Just go home Edward, I'll come by the shop soon, and we'll talk. I promise. "Good-Bye Edward."

"Bye Sweets."

With that I heard his footsteps drift down the hallway.

As my afternoon progressed, I was able to get things done around my condo. I did laundry, I washed the few dishes that were in the sink.

My home was spotless but as much as I tried to keep myself busy, there was still the feeling of being taunted to break down and read the texts that I received.

Giving in and turned my phone back on. The chime alert for my text messages went off immediately. I decided to start at the beginning.

**6/19/09 9:47 p.m. Alice Cell**

_**Call when you are ready to talk**_

**6/19/09 9:53 p.m. Edward Cell**

_**Sleep well Sweets, I'll stop by in the morning to talk**_

**6/19/09 10:15 p.m. Rose Cell**

_**He's back, I'm glad you made it home safely... ILY and we'll talk tomorrow.**_

**6/20/09 6:15 a.m. Edward Cell**

_**I'm here waiting….. for you….**_

**6/20/09 6:45 a.m. Edward Cell**

_**Your neighbors think I'm a bum, they just put some change in my coffee cup… Please answer your door.**_

**6/20/09 7:15 a.m. Edward Cell **

_**Seriously they may call the police soon, I have coffee….**_

**6/20/09 7:52 a.m. Edward Cell**

_**Are you up? I thought I heard you…. Still here, still playing the role of stalker…. Hope you don't mind…. **_

**6/20/09 8:15 a.m. Edward Cell**

_**Your neighbor two doors down keeps looking out his door at me…. WTF did he just wink at me…. Come on are you going to leave me to the wolves?**_

**6/20/09 8:17 a.m. Alice Cell**

_**Girls Only night of B&J and Clueless….. We'll be at your place by 4:00 p.m.**_

**6/20/09 8:47 a.m. Edward Cell**

_**Please open up, I can hear you in there and it's killing me… I need to see your face… **_

I looked at the clock, it was just after two o'clock now; sending off a quick response to Alice telling her to make sure it was double fudge brownie ice cream, I curled back up on the couch and resumed my Buffy marathon.

**Let me know what you think, love it or hate it... See you all soon**

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